The prompt for this piece was "take a risk with your writing" and almost everyone in class wrote about themselves, except one guy who wrote about the game Risk.
Nathan Makes a Choice
By Nathan Mitchell
…
Hello?
…
Hello!
…
What is this place? It feels like I'm dreaming except...
…
Except dreams don't feel this empty.
THIS ISN'T A DREAM.
Ahh, what was that?
“Will he make it doctor?”
“Only time will tell Sheila, we've done the best we can. We're just going to have to wait until morning and see how he's doing.”
And what was that!?
Don't worry dude, soon all will be made clear.
SOON ALL WILL BE MADE CLEAR.
See?
Okay...um...What?!
(i'm sitting in my corner, facing away, they can't see my face, they can't see me cry.)
Oh great, I guess the gangs all here.
Okay, I'm confused, could someone please just explain it to me?
SOON ALL WILL BE MADE CLEAR.
That's really not helping.
Sorry about him man, he's not much of a conversationalist.
What about you? Can you tell me what's going on?
I'd like to man, but...
But I have to figure it out on my own.
Yeah, something like that.
Okay, fine. Let's see, what's the last thing I remember...
You're standing in Eric's garage. It's nighttime and you Andy and Eric are all standing around messing with Eric's camera. You're trying to all punch each other simultaneously and get a picture of it. It can't be something staged, you keep saying, it has to be natural. The three of you are all obviously drunk.
(they don't care about me. they'd fuck me over in a moments notice if only to benefit themselves. they've done it before. i'm sorry.)
This just keeps on getting weirder and weirder. I don't think anythings been made any clearer.
Hmm...well dude, maybe you should start at the beginning.
The beginning?
Yeah, like, the very beginning.
Oh, well, that was a long time ago...
You're lying in bed, staring up at your white, tiled ceiling. You're thinking that you have to get up and go down to breakfast. You know your older sisters will be getting ready for school right now and you're jealous. They're told you just how much fun school is and you can't wait to go next year.
(my first day of school i was beat up in the bathroom stall and left crying on the floor as the rest of the kids went to lunch. other kids knew even then that i was different from them. that i was a weirdo. nobody likes me. i'm sorry.)
Oh God, is that going to happen every time I think about the past.
Probably Dude, but I just meant...
YOU HAVE TO CHOOSE.
Yeah, I was just getting to that. What I meant before was that you should just with your name and age.
That's easy. My name is Nathan Mitchell and I'm nearly 23. What did he mean I'd have to choose?
Well dude, you remember how you always thought your life was really going to change once you turned 23?
Yeah.
Okay man, today is April 12, 2007 and yesterday is definitely something I'd call a life changing experience.
What happened?
Dude, you're, like, the world's greatest detective. Why don't you figure it out?
Was that a Batman reference?
Yeah, I've always wanted to say that.
Hmm, well, I'm in some sort of dreamlike state, but it's not a dream... I'm not dying am I?
Ooh, so close.
YOU HAVE TO CHOOSE!
It's not so hard when you think about it.
Okay, so not dying...Guy keeps yelling that I have to choose. Am I choosing whether to live or die?
Ding ding ding, tell him what he's won Johnny!
And all of you are just different aspects of myself.
I knew you'd get it eventually.
Well, I don't think you'll have to keep me here very long.
Why's that?
Because I want to live.
(DO YOU?)
Yes, well, I mean, that, um, I don't want to die.
Oh really, well, I think I'm going to turn this one over to the little dude. He'll show ya.
(life is pain. i used to think life was exciting with adventure around every corner, but they showed me. life is shit. people are shit. they don't like me, my father didn't like me, my mother never had time for me, the only adult who ever seemed to care was my stepdad john, and john, well...)
You're 12 and you've been cleaning the kitchen for 4 hours. It's late, past 11 and you have to get up for school at 5:30 in the morning. You're tired and as you finally finish picking up the last bit of dirt with the dustpan, thinking you can finally go to bed, John is there, again.
“I bet you think you're done don't you?” He asked from behind you, his voice always makes you tense up nowadays. Slowly you turn around, unable to speak you simply nod.
He laughs at you, “You're not done.” And he proceeds to show you all the dirt you missed. Didn't you think to move the cutting board. You didn't get from behind the microwave. These dishes aren't clean, do them all again. I know we have a dishwasher but you have to do them all by hand. Why? Because I said so that's why. Don't worry you'll get to bed soon enough, but no way in hell am I going to let you go before everything is clean to my satisfaction.
(i was up til 2 that night. cleaning the same things over and over again. nothing i did was ever good enough for john. nothing i do is ever good enough for anyone. nobody likes me. it's because i'm too tall. it's because nobody likes redheads. it's because nobody likes it when you're smarter than them even though i'm not. it's because everyone knows i'm different and everyone thinks that being different means being gay.)
Hey, hey, okay, so life was never really that good to me. That doesn't mean I'm going to just give up on it now. I'm not even 23 yet!
You're walking to Carly's house for the last time.
Oh great, not again.
It's late and you're a little drunk and a little horny. You know she's there and you've decided to make a surprise visit. You walk up her drive and open her door. Slowly, you don't want to ruin the surprise. You sneak your way upstairs and you get to her bedroom door. Carefully you open it, you try not to make a sound. And then you see them. Your best friend and your girlfriend both naked and asleep in each other's arms. They don't stir. You leave just as quietly as you came in. Completely unsure about everything. You were deceived by everyone apparently. You've been the laughing stock of West Salem.
(everyone knew, i knew it but no one wanted to tell me. with friends like that who needs friends.)
What are you saying? That shitty things happen so I shouldn't want to live anymore? Show me something else, show me my best memory.
You and Carly are both naked in your bed. You're making out and exploring each other's body with your hands. You stop for a moment and you notice an expectant look in her eyes. She wants you to take her. It would be the first time the two of you had sex together, and you're more than ready. That's when it happens, she looks at you with her big beautiful brown eyes and tells you she loves you and you know in your heart that you love her too.
(it was all a lie though, she played me for a fool. she didn't love me, she was just playing with my emotions so she could hurt me later. i can never let myself get so involved with someone ever again. love only leads to pain.)
Wow, I am just dumbfounded.
Why dude?
I can't believe out of everything that that is the best memory I have. If this were a Harry Potter book my patronus would look like shit.
(YOU HAVE TO CHOOSE.)
Yeah, I know I think I'm still going to choose to live, if only to make a better memory than that one.
IT'S NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR US.
Yeah dude, we have a long road ahead of us to recovery.
(what if our life isn't worth living?)
Life might not be worth living, but dammit I'm gonna live it anyway.
(THEN OUR FATE IS DECIDED)
And Nathan's life wasn't particularly better in any way but he lived it anyway dammit.
THE END
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